Good morning my lovelies!!
Welcome back to another Sunday together from sunny Los Angeles :) Happiness is literally oozing out of me today, so I’m excited to dive in with you all today!
~ FREE SPIRIT ~ SUMMER BEAUTS
Over the past month or so, I lived at home, as a bridesmaid in a few weddings. It only took about 24 hours to revert back to my old high school self, leaving smelly unmatched socks everywhere, dirty dishes in the sink, forgetting my clothes in the washer, bickering about what we’re making for dinner and whether or not I’m ‘allowed’ to go out. All the things ladies and gents! I’m definitely not proud of it.
One thing I loved though, after cleaning out my drawers, was remembering I always wanted a big life.
Every journal I had was pages filled with ‘more, more more! there has to be more! I want bigger and I know there is bigger than this’.
I remember thinking I just need to leave this place. I need to leave and go get my shix together. I never stopped to question why I had to leave, I just knew I needed to explore it.
A big life to me then was pretty clothes, a perfect body, and a hot boyfriend, and a massive group of friends who all thought I was perfect.
Perfect, as we have discussed, isn’t a reality it’s a dream. In fact, I argue it’s a starting point to steer you in the direction of your jealousies and true needs.
Way back when, I was lonely. And I was embarrassed to admit I was lonely because it wasn’t ~cool to be lonely.
‘Figure it out, go make friends!’ But how can you make friends or find a guy you actually like if you’re embarrassed to be yourself?
The Big life, in my belief, is deep personal nourishment and involvement in nourishing communities.
Recently, I’ve started reframing my own interests into group-oriented activities, understanding first the feminine and the masculine parts of myself.
As you might already know, we have to balance the masculine and feminine parts of ourself to feel fulfilled, satisfied, joyful and loved.
The masculine grounds & provides while the feminine connects to our higher powers and our wild emotions.
We need both to become one within ourselves and our loved ones.
QUICK EXERCISE
Take a moment right now to list 3 responsibilities you enjoy (you gain energy from or enthusiasm)
Now list 3 responsibilities that help you feel grounded (prepared, competent, poised)
Do you assimilate with any of these 3? 1) I like working with things or ideas 2) I communicate best with words and artistic expression 3) I work best with solving problems and helping others
→ Now group the above into feminine and masculine and reflect on your imbalance
I loved this exercise because as I started brainstorming my interests with a community mindset and ended up seeing where I can use both my feminine and masculine identities to help me reach those people and form those communities!
The Big Life becomes nourishing when we satisfy our needs to be seen and heard and loved for everything that we are in different facets of our life! It will most certainly take time but boy oh boy is it worth it!
Today, I’m leaving you with a quote from Gia Coppola regarding her relationship to writing and why she explores the stories and projects she wants to work on.
“I’ve only done two films and each one had a very anxious feeling of, “I just want to get this off my chest and move on. What’s the next thing that I can jump into?” But then you’re not coming from a place of “what really interests me?” and what feels like it’ll be nourishing to me. It’s this own journey in itself of, “I need to get my hands in as many different things to figure out what’s the thing that I’m willing to live in for a long period of time.” Because with movies, especially as director, you’re in it for years and years and years, and you get so sick of it, but you have to stay in it. And, yeah, by the time you’re done with it, you’re just so over it.
But I wanted to do that in order to get out, because I had all these questions that were hovering over me. I think I really had to dive in deep and now I don’t feel as tethered or despairing when it comes to pop culture or social media anymore, which is good.
But I also feel like with whatever project I do, I feel very inspired to do whatever’s the antithesis of what I just did. Palo Alto is very dreamy and quiet, so then I was really responding to satire and something loud and annoying. And now in response to that, I feel like, “Oh, I just want to do something very tranquil and pretty, like down to nature and simple.” - GC from We the Women
Tata and talk soon :)
xx Sam G